City College in SG

Playing Maple Story halfway and suddenly my phone rang, look and saw "Private Number"
I half expected who it will be already, and true enough, its my god-father.

Haven't really spoke to him for quite some time and it feels good to know that someone actually still cares for you.

As usual we talk about some dialy thingies, while i fiddeled with my maple story character. Sometimes i really feel i should be born a woman, my ability to multi-task is just.... Overwhelming.

But then a topic came up which made me press the ESC button my keyboard, i wasn't so interested in maple story, and my account got hacked anyway.

City College, my god-father mentioned and asked me whether i would be happy to go back to school again. I opened up Mr Google and searched for this college, and everything seems good, but when i saw the price....18k SGD for 2 years in that college and i went "WTF?" there was no way i can afford that kind of money.

Father said he would be willing to pay that money for me, but he wants me to make sure that i really want to study, or else i would not only waste his money but also dissapoint him badly.

What can i say? I have been working for 5 years now and i realised what kind of disadvantage i can be in if i do not have a high education background. All these years the only jobs i can find is the customer service line which is totally not what i want to do for the rest of my life.

Sometimes the saying is really correct, "A person will always think the grass further up is greener" I guess thats human nature, we never learn to appreciate what we have in hand and always think how things would be better if we did this or did that.

Thats exactly what i did with my life, i had a chance to study and i didn't appreciate it, i had my mind in enjoying rather then studying, i dropped out of college after a year and went on to work. I remember my mum who is not on good terms with me once offered to give me another chance to study in Southern College but the catch is i have to stay at home with her so that she can managed how i study i and pushed her away. I feel so stupid now i think back about it....

Now this chance once again pops up in front of me, but i am afraid to take it... Why? My friends asked me, and seriously i do not know how to put my thoughts into words.

You see, i have been working for so long, 5 years almost 6 years now, its been so long since i dumped my school bag, what is the percentage of me succeeding in my studies if i go back to school now?

The next thing that is troubling me is the fact that all these years i have been working, but i do not even have a single cent of savings in the bank, instead what i have is debts and more debts on my credit card. You may think its because i do not know how to manage myself finiancially, and yes i admit thats partially the problem, but i think the main problem is because i live alone, i have to pay for the rent, my food, my ciggarettes, my transport fees and all sort of crap, and looking at my pay these past 5 years...its just merely enough for me to surive so we can forget talking about savings.

So if i go back to studying now, what are my chances of successing? and who is going to help me pay off my credit card debts?

I am very fustrated right now, not knowing what option i should choose...Oh and there is still 1 more problem, even if i do decide to take up the offer to go back to school, i have to sit for an entrance exam and interview and even then i still wouldn't know if i am going to get into the school.

I don't know if i can handle that dissapointment...

Sigh....if anybody is reading this ranting blog of mine, i hope you guys learn something from my past experience.

"When a chance comes and knocks on your door, take advantage of the opportunity immediately and do not procastinate."

- Kenneth